I Bought An E60 M5 For $1500, Am I Crazy?

"dannyzabolotny" (dannyzabolotny) 12/17/2018 at 09:10 • Filed to: BMW, E60 m5, E60, M5, S85, V10

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There’s been a lot of buzz regarding the 2006 – 2010 M5 lately, also known by enthusiasts as the E60 M5. Doug Demuro !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , Savagegeese !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , and Tyler Hoover !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , claiming to have bought the cheapest M5 in the country at $6,500. Cheapest running M5, yes. But not the cheapest overall. I have recently acquired an M5 with 130k miles and a clean title for a mere $1500. How did I do it, and am I crazy? Read on and find out!

First, a little background. I’m a perpetually-broke 26-year old dude that runs a small BMW repair shop in Phoenix with my equally crazy friend (we’re called ASC Motorworks, if you’re ever in the Phoenix area and need your BMW worked on... shameless plug, I know). The point is, I’m no stranger to taking on ridiculously broken BMW projects that nobody else wants to, likely due to a winning combination of misplaced confidence and deep-rooted masochism.

As always, the story begins while scrolling around the internet aimlessly. I saw a post in my local BMW Facebook group from a guy that had a 2006 M5 for $6000 OBO, it had a high-pressure Vanos pump issue but allegedly ran and drove. I kept an eye on it for a while but didn’t do anything about it, given that $6000 was about $5999 more than I had to my name at the time. It stayed on the market for a little while because even the usual cheapskates were afraid of the V10 with its numerous expensive issues.

Well hello there, future financial ruin!

Then my friend had an idea that was equal parts awful and brilliant— what if we traded our $1500 2003 BMW 540i M-Sport for it? It was a recently acquired car that ran and drove nicely, albeit with a few minor issues. We were planning on flipping it, at least that’s why we bought it.

Most smart people would say this is the better car...

“There’s no way this guy will accept this trade offer,” I thought. But to my surprise, he did. I guess the idea of a properly running BMW seemed appealing to him (and the 540i was no slouch either, having a peppy 290hp V8). Before the rational part of my mind could talk me out of it, I was heading up to the M5 seller’s house in the 540i, ready to trade. The seller of the M5 turned out to be a nice guy, just not the most car-savvy. He had taken the M5 to the dealership a few months prior to address some running issues that it had, and after spending a whopping $3000 on ignition coils + spark plugs, he was then given a $7000 estimate to replace the high-pressure Vanos pump (a $3000 part). Naturally, he was eager to get rid of the car and happily took the trade— he even used one of his AAA tows to bring the car to our shop. And so we had a 2006 M5 for $1500, heck yeah!

Like all good projects, this one arrived on a flatbed. The tow truck driver was not pleased with how low it was, and nearly refused to tow it.

My friend and I got super excited about our newly acquired M5, with its Formula 1-derived, naturally-aspirated V10 cranking out a furious 500hp whilst its 10 individual throttle bodies screamed the song of its people. The engine in this particular car was capable of revving to an astronomical 8400rpm, since it had a Dinan tune on it with an increased rev limiter. It also sported a fairly valuable Eisenmann Race exhaust on it, which was just icing on the highly depreciated BMW cake.

Glorious.

Less thrilling were the questionable 20" dubs on it, along with a heap of tacky underglow everywhere, Fast & Furious-style. An eBay rear window spoiler, eBay front lip, tinted headlights, and nasty “carbon fiber” roof wrap rounded out the ghetto appearance package.

Of course, the supposedly running M5 did not run... or crank at all. The seller swore it was a bad battery or an issue with the SMG transmission. We had a feeling it was something more serious, but we figured that the parts value of the M5 far exceeded the purchase price. After putting in a good, fully-charged battery, the engine still didn’t crank. Moving on to the next step of troubleshooting, we removed some of the cooling system to gain access to the crank pulley, to try and turn the engine over by hand. The engine did not turn over at all, even with a large breaker bar. Uh oh.

Now that we were dealing with what appeared to be a seized engine, we dug in a little deeper. Our initial (admittedly farfetched) suspicion was that it could have been a jammed starter, and since that was underneath the intake manifold (the starter on the S85 V10 is in the deepest part of the V), off came the intake plenum, exposing the ten individual throttle bodies. Just out of curiosity, we opened the throttle bodies to peek inside at the intake valves, and well, the picture speaks for itself:

Shit, meet fan.

Normally you’re not supposed to find anything in the intake, especially not chunks of metal. We tested the metal chunks with a magnet and found that it was a mix of ferrous and non-ferrous metal, oh boy. It was at this moment that we realized it wasn’t going to be a quick and easy fix.

After that brief disappointment, we did what any logical BMW owner would do in this situation and started preparing the engine to come out. While you definitely could pull this engine at home, having a shop with a lift at our disposal made it considerably easier and less messy. Normally for an engine pull we prefer to drop the whole front subframe, but we wanted to keep the shell movable so it wouldn’t tie up the lift while the car waited for a new engine. Thus, we opted to remove the front clip and pull the engine + transmission in the traditional way, from the front with a cherry picker.

10 once-glorious throttle bodies

The front clip came off pretty easily, especially since the bumper cover was missing quite a few fasteners, a nod to this car’s sordid past. Bit by bit, the rest came off, from the radiators to the oil cooler to the remote oil filter housing. To make putting it back together less of a nightmare, we kept all of the fasteners organized and labeled.

Oil cooler, AC condenser, radiator, and power steering cooler. Full-on racecar stuff here.

Front clip removed, you can see the elaborate four-port cooling system. Very cool (pun intended?)

At some point during this process, we decided to stick a boroscope down the spark plug hole on cylinder #6, curious as to the horrors within. What we saw was quite interesting indeed...

Where’s the piston?

Somehow, through a crazy sequence of still-undetermined events, the piston had called it quits and disappeared into the crankcase. We’re still not sure how it happened, but it’s quite fascinating indeed. More surprising is that this didn’t blow a hole in the block, as these are known to do. What we did know at this point was that the block was complete junk. At this point you would think we would be distraught or angry at our findings, but honestly we found it more amusing than anything. I guess it takes a special kind of person to look at that and laugh— perhaps that’s why we’re mechanics.

With the driver’s side exhaust header removed, the engine and transmission came out without too much of a fuss. The V10 and SMG transmission are absolutely massive; it’s nothing short of an engineering miracle that BMW was able to fit them into the space that they did.

Glorious V10

E60 M5, now with 99% less engine!

That’s how the car sits now. Fear not, for we already have a plan to get it back on the road. The same day that we found metal shavings inside the throttle body, we started scouring the classifieds and forums for a replacement engine. The S85 V10 is not known for being particularly cheap, with good examples running around $6k - $8k, more than either of us wanted to pay. Within a day we had located an engine of questionable integrity for $2100 shipped. The seller claimed it rotated over freely but may or may not have had rod bearing issues. In any case, that’s an engine that we could rebuild, as opposed to our new, V10-shaped coffee table.

New block, who dis?

With that engine currently on the way from North Carolina, we’re obtaining all of the parts needed for our M5's triumphant rebirth: coated rod bearings, new connecting rod bolts, new gaskets, and a new clutch are among the many parts being ordered, mostly from FCP Euro for that sweet, sweet lifetime warranty. Given that the new engine is just the block + heads, we’ll also be transferring over the throttle bodies and accessories.

All in all, the E60 M5 is not as terrifying as people make it out to be. It’s no more complicated than any other late-model BMW as far as working on it goes, there’s just a lot more of everything so being organized is crucial. It’s the car that YouTubers love to hate on, but it’s one of BMW’s best-kept secrets for mechanically savvy enthusiasts. What other car can you get with a race-derived V10 that screams to 8400rpm for this cheap while still being practical to drive on a daily basis?

Stay tuned for the next installment, when we put together the new engine.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 11:20

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But you're not gonna put the SMG back in, right?

LimitedTimeOnly @ opposite-lock.com > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 11:22

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It’s only not crazy because it’s you, with your ability and experience working on BMWs. If it were me? I would need to be certified as insane (and my wife would drive me to an institution for treatment, electro-shock preferred).

dannyzabolotny > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 12/17/2018 at 11:27

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Actually I am. It’s not as troublesome of a system as everybody makes it out to be, and it’s what the M5 was designed with. The 6-speed was a bit of an afterthought. Plus with the Euro SMG tune it makes the SMG a lot more livable on a daily basis, and raises the launch control from 1500 to 4000.

dannyzabolotny > LimitedTimeOnly @ opposite-lock.com 12/17/2018 at 11:29

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The funny thing is that a few months ago I would have never touched an E60 M5, but I guess I’ve grown to like them. For some reason I really love cars that people hate on, maybe I’m just a contrarian.

Vicente Esteve > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 11:55

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Wow. That is some project you have in your hands, I’ll be waiting for the update! 

dannyzabolotny > Vicente Esteve 12/17/2018 at 11:59

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It’s certainly a project, that’s for sure. Can’t wait to see what other problems it has once the engine issues are resolved. The new engine is scheduled to arrive on Thursday, so it won’t be long until the madness resumes.

Kim Jong - Healthy > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 12:33

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do you guys work on e30s?

my fiancé and I are in PHX, she’s been taking her e30 to ultimate auto works and they are butt. she’s dropped $6k in repairs and it’s gone back three times in a month for a brake issue they can’t seem to figure out why the drum keeps rubbing.

anyways, it seems like most bimmer places don’t like working on older e30s.

dannyzabolotny > Kim Jong - Healthy 12/17/2018 at 12:56

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Yeah, we love E30’s! Any vintage Bimmer is more than welcome at our shop :)

We have an E34 and a 2002 at the shop right now, and my partner here has two 1972 Bavarias. We’ve heard from a lot of people that most BMW shops around here don’t like working on older cars.

kgman > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 13:26

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This is great! I would like to hear more about this project and your take on the E60 M5’s reliability overall. I saw you said the SMG is not as much of a problem as people think. 

boredalways > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 13:58

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You're insane, but I like that!  I sincerely hope this works out for for you.

dannyzabolotny > kgman 12/17/2018 at 14:14

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Well with new rod bearings and a freshly serviced SMG it shouldn’t have too many issues, but I guess we’ll find out!

Kim Jong - Healthy > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 15:22

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hell yeah.

once the shop it’s at now, finishes the brake work they keep fucking up on, I’ll for sure be bringing it to you.

be on the lookout for a hennarot e30! thats ya boy.

spngr311 > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 16:20

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Awesome project! Love seeing this kind of stuff. Good luck with it - can't wait to see more. 

MM54 > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 17:34

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This is good Oppo (and I’ve just learned that the appearan ce of the front end of the e60 is much improved with the everything removed)

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 19:01

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You and your partner are heros! Please keep us updated with all the fun (and not) stuff. Best of luck!

I’ve been looking at some E9x M3s and hnnnngg.....

dannyzabolotny > ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability 12/17/2018 at 20:04

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Some would say we’re fearless, but mostly we just do things without thinking too much about them. It’s all too easy to psyche yourself out when you think of the whole job. Our approach is just to dive in and go for it— we have enough experience between the two of us that we don’t really ever hit any snags.

E9x M3's are definitely getting cheaper these days, and they have similar issues with the rod bearings and throttle actuators. Maybe we’ll get one of those at some point to mess around with.

dannyzabolotny > Kim Jong - Healthy 12/17/2018 at 20:19

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Sounds good! Feel free to text me at 917-251-7046 if you have any questions or just want to shoot the shit.

daender > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 20:23

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This is a tremendous undertaking, best of luck with it!

...The eBay splitter isn’t too bad on the eyes.

dannyzabolotny > daender 12/17/2018 at 20:59

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Tremendous undertaking would be putting that V10 into a Datsun (like B is for Build did). This is more of a simple engine replacement, haha. But thanks for stopping by!

I’m not a huge fan of lips on already aggressive bumpers... they just scrape on everything. I drive my cars hard and don’t want to worry about driveways or speed bumps.

CompactLuxuryFan > dannyzabolotny 12/17/2018 at 23:05

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This is great! I guess running a BMW shop can have its perks, who knew?

Hope you’re also keeping an eye out for new wheels! Those are atrocious!

dannyzabolotny > CompactLuxuryFan 12/17/2018 at 23:30

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Cool projects like this make the tedium of working on modern turbo BMW’s all worth it. Indeed I am keeping an eye out for a set of stock wheels, but they’re not cheap so that’ll have to wait until I get the M5 back up and running. 

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 00:30

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My god, this is good Oppo.

B_dol > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 00:35

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Craigslist is the best place to pick up used OEM wheels - enthusiast forms tend to ask too much. Picked up a mint set of E90 wheels for $200

dannyzabolotny > B_dol 12/18/2018 at 01:29

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I’m certainly keeping an eye out on Craigslist, that’s basically my second home. Unfortunately with M3/M5 wheels, even Craigslist people know they’re worth money.

dannyzabolotny > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 12/18/2018 at 01:29

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Just imagine how good it could be on FP ;)

pip bip - choose Corrour > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 07:47

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you’re nuts

i salute you.

Tapas > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 08:09

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Yes, you are crazy.

The world needs more people like you!

See if you can replace the SMG with a Manual Transmission. If you’re going this far with a whole different engine, you might as well make it the perfect E60 M5!

Party-vi > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 10:22

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“the piston had called it quits and disappeared into the crankcase.”  

Honestly the best way to quit a job ever, just break apart and fuck shit up and then just disappear.

46and2aheadofme > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 10:27

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My mechanic has an 06 M5 identical to mine except that he switched to aftermarket wheels a while back. Next time I’m there I’ll ask him what he did with his stock wheels.

dannyzabolotny > Party-vi 12/18/2018 at 11:50

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For real! I’ve never seen an engine fail quite like this... pretty stoked to crack it open in the very near future to see more of the internal carnage.

dannyzabolotny > Tapas 12/18/2018 at 11:51

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I don’t actually mind the SMG, it works well with the S85 V10. Especially with the Euro SMG tune, which I plan to flash on. But maybe down the road? We’ll see...

RallyWrench > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 12:12

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You’re nuts, man. We saw one of these break a valve spring on the left bank, also an SMG car, interestingly, which theoretically can’t overrev. Although the tune and r aised rev limit doesn’t help this one’s case. Caught that one it before it got worse though, it misfired and made noise. I wonder if that’s what started this catastrophe, perhaps it broke a spring that then   took itself apart, the valve then fell into the chamber, and destroyed the piston. Good luck with it. 

Party-vi > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 12:28

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Prior to rebuilding the SBF 302 in my Jeep it ran OK for an engine that was stored for a couple decades. Upon tear down my dad and I took note that one of the rods looked exactly like the bent one pictured above. I was astounded that the engine could still run smoothly like that.

dannyzabolotny > RallyWrench 12/18/2018 at 12:38

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Yeah, that might have happened with this car. Though all the valves appeared to be in place, albeit severely bent. I guess I’ll find out once we do the autopsy on the old engine. This car did have a Dinan tune which raised the rev limit to 8400rpm.

dannyzabolotny > Party-vi 12/18/2018 at 12:40

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That’s the beauty of the old pushrod engines... you could run em with bad bearings, bent pistons, with the firing order all wrong, horribly timed, and they’d still run in most cases. Can’t really do that with a BMW engine due to the extremely tight clearances and no margin for error. Timing a BMW engine requires precise tools and German engineer levels of precision and patience.

Tapas > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 12:58

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I didn’t know there was a tune to improve the SMG. That’s neat.

Keep us posted on how things go!

dannyzabolotny > Tapas 12/18/2018 at 13:27

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Yep! It makes the shifts better, makes the automatic mode smoother, alters the throttle behavior so upshifts are smooth even without letting off the gas pedal, and raises launch mode to 4000rpm instead of the crippled 1500rpm that the US got.

Fresh-Outta-Nissans > dannyzabolotny 12/18/2018 at 17:10

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What’s a high-pressure VANOS pump? I’ve worked for them, and replaced various (a) high-pressure fuel pump, (b) VANOS solenoid, and (c) VANOS actuators. But the V10 is funny, I vaguely recall it has unique knock sensors.

Tangent: BMW state the firing order of the i3 REX’s two-cylinder is 1-2. It would be, wouldn’t it?

dannyzabolotny > Fresh-Outta-Nissans 12/18/2018 at 17:18

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So on the S85 (and only on the S85) there’s a second pump next to the oil pump, that’s the high-pressure vanos pump. It pressurizes the oil to an insanely high pressure to allow the high-pressure Vanos system to work. When they wear out, the Vanos stops working correctly and the engine goes into a limp mode.

Yep, it doesn’t have traditional knock sensors. It uses an ionic system that detects misfires using currents fed through the spark plugs.

No idea about the REX, I don’t mess with any hybrid or electric BMW’s.

Michael > dannyzabolotny 12/19/2018 at 12:30

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Sear chtempest?

Classy Jalopy > dannyzabolotny 12/20/2018 at 08:49

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Good on you Danny! I will wait to see more progress, God speed! 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > dannyzabolotny 06/14/2019 at 11:58

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Current status?